Fake Billion Dollars Certificate - Funny T-Shirts

Our Billion Dollar Promissory Note

$1,000,000,000.00
That's Nine Zeros!

There are just two ways for you to get our Billion Dollar Promissory Note. You can purchase these outright
by clicking on either of the order buttons below. Click on the left button if you just want to be owed a
Billion Dollars. Click on the right button to get your Billion Dollar IOU sent to you in its own frame. Either
way you choose, they're worth a Billion Bucks...in 1,000 years. So until then, happy next millennium.
***See Below: About our Billion Dollar Promissory Note***

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--About our Billion Dollar Promissory Note--

Hey we're not just another t-shirt and gag gift website, you know. We here at NotMeUSA do
things in a whopping big-assed way! AND there just aren't too many things bigger than a
BILLION DOLLARS. (But then again, maybe my ex-wife's ass is bigger...but that's another deal
that'll cost you about $20 on the corner of 8th and Main.) Anyway, a billion dollars goes a long
way in today's economy. I mean, you could buy just about any house in the world for a billion
bucks. As well as the land to stick it up on. You could hire all of the chicks exposing their
boobs in all those Gone Wild videos...for fifty years! Now that's a lot of breasts! Hell, you can
even buy yourself some pot-front acreage down in Colombia...that is if you're into drugs,
Cheech.

Whatever your reasons, our Billion Dollar Promissory Note can make your dreams come true.
Well, at least they'll come true in about a thousand years. Of course that's providing that a
billion dollars has as much value in 1,000 years. For all we know the joke in a 1,000 years could
be, "That and a billion dollars will get you a cup of coffee". Better yet, can't you just see lap
dancers in the future trying to stuff a billion bucks in their g-strings? How about beggars
asking you for a spare million? Holy spit, think about how huge the money changer would
have to be just so that you could use the self-service rocket-carwash? Don't even mention how
long it would take to plop a billion dollar's worth of quarters in it.

So in essence, maybe a billion dollars won't be worth a flip in 1,000 years, but you can bet your
bottom dollar it's worth a ton of cash now.   So much money that we can't possibly pay out at
this time. That's because we're pretty much independently wealth-less. However in just a
thousand years, well that just might change. Especially if we can get the patent on our newest
invention, "the scratch and sniff computer monitor". Now that'll be intense! Just as soon as we
figure out how to make it work. You see right now the only odor we can replicate is kind of a
cross between electrical ozone discharge and butt itch bean burrito. Hey, we're still working
on it.

We'll probably get it right when our lead inventor gets back.   He's spent the last few weeks
being knee deep in pussy.   No he hasn't been camped out in a Vegas brothel.   He's been playing
the big cowboy stud on a cat farm. We know he'll be back cause they're only paying him
scratch.

Speaking of scratch, trying to collect early on these promissory notes is a waste of time. Yes,
though we will be legally obligated to pay one billion dollars to our customers, they still have
to wait the full millennium to cash in. Sorry folks, we don't think you'll be around to collect
on that one. Now if you're into cryogenics, that may be an entirely different story. All you
have to do is get your head lopped off and stashed away in some ice cream man's deep freeze.
Then after 1,000 years, get someone to pop your head in the microwave and when thawed,
stitch it on to what...an android body? Clone? The Jetson's vacuum cleaner? Or who knows
what. You get there in 1,000 years and the billion bucks are all yours. Hey, cryogenics isn't
really that bad an idea. Well, the decapitation part sucks, but at $20,000 per year for normal(?)
cryo-storage and the costs of maintenance, that comes out to about $20 million over the course
of a millennium. That leaves you with $980 million!   That might be more than enough to find
some kind of body to slap your head on.

Well in any case, enjoy these notes. They're cool and you can honestly tell people that you've
got one billion dollars in long term savings.   A very long long long long term savings account.

Thanks,
NotMeUSA.com

This Design can be Customized FREE with Anyone's Name!
Upon checking out go to the "Gift Message" box at the bottom of the checkout
form. Type in the name of the person you want to receive this certificate. And
if it's a gift, add in your message. Then just continue to check out.

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