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Do not take this medication with food. Never mix Blowzout with any form
of laxatives. If operating heavy equipment, be sure to leave all windows
open. If in a confined area, do not smoke or light any flame producing
objects. This could lead to an explosive result. It is advised to not use
this drug if you are to be confined in a crowded elevator, bus, or
subway train. Be very careful before allowing your gas to be expelled.
Chunky poots may occur.
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INFORMATION/DISCLAIMER: Do not use this medication in any other way
than it is Intended. BLOWZOUT was developed to help in the expulsion
of trapped body gas commonly referred to as, "Stuck Farts." This is a
dangerous condition as well as embarrassingly loud experience. Please
use extra caution when passing pent-up gas from your body. In clinical
studies some test subjects hit dangerously high decibel levels when
expelling pent up gas. As well as dangerously high G-Forces normally
associated with jet propelled engines. Do not use BLOWZOUT if you will
be in a crowd. The resulting odor of trapped farts can be suffocating in a
crowded environment. Not to mention the real danger associated with
jet like forces erupting from your butt that could thrust an individual
several feet away. Never use BLOWZOUT while taking any other
laxatives. You could possibly injure yourself and others with cloth
piercing projectiles or flood like liquid stool. As well as go "mushing"
around in tell tale sagging underwear all day with an outhouse stench
that's surrounding yourself. In laboratory testing our “volunteers” were
given two pounds of various cheeses to eat for six consecutive days; in
order to create an intestinal blockage. Then we followed this cheese
regimen with two successive days of bean chili and draft beer. After the
last meal 100% of all laboratory test subjects began to complain about
minor stomach discomfort. Within an hour of these initial complaints we
began to notice that all of our test subjects were beginning to exhibit
stomach and abdomen growth. As the hours passed and the complaints
grew more intense we began to administer BLOWZOUT to 50% of the
test subjects while the rest received placebo dosages. Within just
minutes the BLOWZOUT test group began to relieve their abdominal
pressure by way of mass flatulency. Of course we were ready for this
and managed to capture enough raw methane to power all of our
natural gas vehicles for several months. However the placebo group
began exhibiting extraordinary stomach growth that we began referring
to as “Pregnancy Gut". After the first placebo subject’s belly exploded
and overwhelmed the lab with an incredible stench we quickly
administered emergency dosages of BLOWZOUT. Thankfully, the rest of
our subjects survived. BLOWZOUT is guaranteed to HELP relieve your
"stuck farts" unconditionally. Well, unconditionally except when your gas
has become dangerously pressurized to the point of being able to use
your ass as a sand blaster. In which case you can send for our NEW
“FUGGITALL IN-HOME NATURAL GAS BLAST KIT”. For just $19.95 you will
get an adjustable spray nozzle for high pressure spraying. A ten foot
long air hose and a “user friendly” rectal coupling device to attach to
your hose. With BLOWZOUT you can easily use your own natural
pressurized gas to remove paint, oil, grease stains, rust and even Al
Gore if he should come to your home. Included in this price is a FREE
Level VI gas mask for your own safety. “Go Green” today with your
BLOWZOUT prescription and the FUGGITALL IN-HOME NATURAL GAS
BLAST KIT! Just send $19.95 to our lab at FUGGITALL DRUGS and a tiny
$345.99 to cover the cost of shipping and handling. Please use great
care when passing gas. NEVER, and we mean absolutely NEVER use
BLOWZOUT prior to engaging in any form of Sumo Wrestling. Always be
sure to understand that the pressure you are about to expel may be
mass and not gas. The life you save may be your own.
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