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Do not drink any alcoholic beverages before taking this medication.
GUZZLE THEM! Not to be used with any meals. That will just make you
sick as all hell. As well as crazier than you already are. If you find you’re
caught in the presence of those who are driving you absolutely spit
slapping nuts, find a handgun and use it until it is empty. Perhaps that
will help to relieve your tension.
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DIRECTIONS: It is unlawful to use this product in any other way than
recommended. At breakfast (prior to the onset of whiney symptoms) or
when a bout of whines are about to begin (prior to child awakening),
chew two tablets and for God's sake, relax. The problems you are
about to face will instantly begin to fade away. Within three minutes
you'll lose that overpowering urge to scream maniacally at your brat
(s)...er, children. More importantly, you will be better emotionally
empowered to resist murderous urges that result from the normal
everyday interaction with demon children. DO NOT USE MORE THAN
TWO PILLS! Yes, we know that there's an instinctive impulse to grab a
shotgun and blast away at the little shits until your medication takes
effect. However, the impulse to overdose on INSANA-TABS to speed
your resistance is highly dangerous to your health. SO DO NOT DO
THAT! More than two pills will result in your becoming a quivering pile
of whimpering human flesh (often referred as, “becoming a Liberal).
Besides, if you use up all of your supply of INSANA-TABS then the only
recourse you'll have left to combat their whining is to beat the ever
living piss out of all your brats...er, kids. That could be very bad.
Especially if the police, or worse, the local school board gets involved.
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