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Take one tablet before each meal! Not every time you're shoving food
down your endless maw! Do not mix with sugar. This means NO MORE
deserts with, after, and in between every meal. Never consume
alcoholic beverages when taking this medication. Yeah, like you're
really going to slug down some beers in between one of your fifty
snacks you eat during the day. Do not operate heavy equipment for at
least one hour after taking this medication. In other words, you can't
drive to the ice cream store for at least one hour.
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INFORMATION/DISCLAIMER: Do not use this medication in any other
way than it is Intended. Flabboxxin is a fat reduction pill. It is not a
miracle drug that permanently eliminates fat forever.Research shows
ninety-nine percent of our test subjects lost 95% of their excess body
fat within four weeks of taking this medication. Of these, all resembled
bloodhounds. They were started on a regimen of our patented,
"Flappatrin". The 1% who did not reduce 95% of their excess body fat
did not participate in any of our daily exercise programs. Rather than
walking two miles per day (to the local fast food restaurants) these
human pacyderms chose walking to the refrigerator as their primary
exercise. They also lifted weights (plates and bowls that were filled
with food) to no avail. Though a 95% reduction in body fat is
impressive it should be noted that once one ceases using Flabboxxin
one MUST control one's gorging habits. The fat will return in a short
period of time if you continue grazing 24/7. You MUST admit to yourself,
before all else, that you have a Porky Pig problem. Stop whining that
it's not that you, "Don't eat a lot for dinner", it's the 1000 lbs of food
you eat in between meals that make you harpoon worthy in water. All
test subjects became lifetime users of Flabboxxin. The lone exceptions
being those people (1%) who did not lose weight. However, they are
now earning some serious money by leasing a lot of available
advertising space on their bodies.
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