The NotMeUSA Weekly Report "How to be Funny" by: John DeJong
This weekly is a source for anyone who wants to learn how to create humorous gag gifts, t-shirts, jokes and other funny things. Each week we will feature four funny gag gift or t- shirt submission entries that are sent to us from you crazy readers, along with our opinions about these four featured entries. These humorous ideas and how they were created can equally teach “humor challenged” people on how to be funny.
There are only two criteria for submitting your humorous design ideas to us. First, they have to be your original idea. We don’t want to read anymore jokes about hairless midget mud wrestling mamas. They have been way overdone. So have all those countless t-shirts about MILFs. Oh and for Pete’s sake, do not send us anything that pokes fun at Hillary. She is not only my muse but my dream lover. Make a joke about her and you’re just about guaranteed not to be featured.
The second criteria for successfully getting featured by us are how you came up with the joke. Tell us what struck you with the old humor lightning bolt. Something had to have happened to you that plopped the idea into your brain…right? I mean if you come up with a t-shirt that says, “Baby Jessica is doing well”, we want to know what prompted you to think that up. That’s what we also want to get from you—your inspiration. It will also teach those humor challenged individuals how to think funny stuff up!
An example would be like the first time I ever heard the word, “blog”. I was like, what is a blog? To me it sounded like something that someone with a spastic colon would get squeezed through their thong. Was it a word that’s derivative of a bisected log perhaps? That is what actually passed through my bizarre mind.
So now you know the ground rules for submission. Send us your original humorous idea with an explanation as to what caused your creative mirth. If it’s good enough (in our opinion) then you’ll be featured here in our weekly report. Of course we will also be printing our opinion of your submissions. Hey, if you wanted to get away with it Scot-free then life’s a beach. We got more opinions than Clinton has skeletons in his trousers.
Just remember that what you come up with will be published out in cyber-space for the whole world to see. The good news is that you’ll get credit for it. The bad news is that everyone and his brother are going to be stealing it. That’s just the way it is in the humor business. They say that Milton Berle made a pretty decent living out of stealing jokes.
Now get to it! As my boss says (when I get mental-block), “Get your butt out there and think of something funny”. Remember, no making fun of Hillary, because she’s my Goddess!
John DeJong is the lead creative designer for NotMeUSA. He has been writing humorous advertisements for over twenty-five years. All of the funny t-shirts, prescription pill bottles, and gag spray bottles were created by him. You can see all of his humorous custom T-Shirts and Gag Gifts by visiting him at http://notmeusa.com.